Ahh life is one crazy entity.
I haven't been blogging like I promised myself I would. My mental resources are just not enough to handle all that goes on in my life. I think I need a new stick of RAM - I'm prolly running on 32 megs of EDO. Bah!
Last weekend was amazing. Caelan spent 48 hours at her grandmothers house. Tina and I hung out like we were friends again - instead of co-workers trying to keep the business going. We ate out like 4 times and even went to a pseudo-super bowl party. It was definatly needed. Sleeping in two days in a row was the cats ass. Sunday I almost felt guilty for leaving Caelan at her g'ma's for so long. I know she had a riot and plenty of people went to see her. I definatly missed her and was happy when she came home.
Programming class last night was great. I'm realing showing my skillz to my teacher. He's a cool guy - I'm trying to get a good internship - I hope he can offer me one where he works. There aren't many opportunities around here to get a programming internship - lord knows as of late I don't feel like I'm qualified to program anyway. I can master the easy stuff in an instant - when it begins to get more abstract I loose focus (not by choice.)
Most of my programming "study time" is spent at work. I don't have a compiler on that machine, and even if I did, the computer is so old it wouldn't work properly. I could bring my laptop, but reading books at my desk is where I draw the line. I do have to have some sort of ethics - I mean .. if I make it too obvious that I'm not really working shit may hit the fan.
So that leaves me to read the book at work, write the code - with pen and paper :( - and then come home and type it into the compiler. Well type it if my daughter gives me the opportunity. Tina doesn't get home until after Caelan goes to bed so I can't really hand her off and say "I'm going to study." The whole situation is quite frustrating. I've been moving along nicely and learning a lot - things will click in my head while I'm doing other things - then I'll go back and figure it out in the compiler and viola.. I've 'mastered' it. Now I'm having trouble becuase I can't concentrate on things for long enough consecutive periods of time. A little here and a little there is just not cutting it anymore.
I'd like to get 2 hours of ME time / night to code - to learn. I don't see it happening. I still get the here and there time and deal with it. Who knows if I'll every REALLY get the time to master my chosen craft. I wish my wife didn't have to work and could take care of Caelan 24/7 while I at least got the foundation of programming down. I'm too "old" <
I spent 3 hours in the urgent care center yesterday. I've been short of breath with tightness in my chest for the last two weeks or so. I emailed my Dr.'s office to make an appointment to get a physical. I meantioned my breathing issues and said "I'd like to wait until my physical to talk to the Dr about it." They called me back and said that I should go to UC and get it checked asap. Its definatly due to stress. I knew it before I even went. Of course, though, they don't want to take chances and force me to worry more than I already to about my health. Anyhow, they found nothing wrong - the Dr gave me more "crazy" medication to keep me calm. This one you just take when you feel the need. I guess thats better than the every day shit w/the side effects.
My sister got my resume in order. Now I have to come up with a cover letter and try to get an internship with a gaming company - online of course. I figure 1 week programming with professionals is 10 times better than 1 month reading a damn book about it.
Speaking of books - do not read Synthetic Worlds ... (as I write this its in "the book" link.) The author is writing from an economists standpoint. I had to force myself to read the first 75ish pages. It's barely interesting and it actually makes me wan't to NOT play games (well not really - that'd be insane.)
Every time I blog I realize what little grip I have on the english lanuage. My grammer is aweful - my points are incoherent - ugh!